Optical Illusions

Actually, I'm not quite sure what an optical illusion is.  I have a very faint idea, but I think that hardly counts.  My very faint idea is when the mental image is different from the physical image.  Is that very far off track?

This afternoon was one of those sleepy ones.  The kids were playing outside, and mommy and Chloe had a nap, so the kitchen was really quiet while I was making dinner.  But I needed help.  I require strange help... I found it in a dead person. (I think I hang out with dead people way too much.)  Dvorak lent me the support of his music, and I helped him along with my cooking.  The smells I created inspired his beautiful melodies, and the music he created inspired my food.  I realized that we had the same things going on.  He was creating something intangible by using so many tangible things... Something to hear that agrees with the soul.  By a string of notes, woven together, from different instruments, he made his symphony... I used spices... each one distinct in its taste, and yet when combined together gave one distinct taste that was (I hope) appetizing.  This was something tangible that was physically appealing.

I say a score on the guacamole!  Who doesn't like it?  Speak up! :)  My little sister Tirzah hates it.  She used to hate it with a passion, but I can't say she does anymore.  She willingly tasted it, and actually liked it!  It made me so happy!

And as a last thought from Genii:

"Oh look, it's Cleopatra and Caesar.  And look, they're bringing a salad!"

"This is a world of dreams and reverie..."

Hello.

I am in such a strange mood tonight.  I don't really know why.  I was so happy this afternoon... Maybe because for once I got enough sleep at night.  I'm too clumsy to dance, and walking is too slow, so I skipped everywhere.  Literally.  And now I find myself rather... what shall we say... pensive.  Like the air before a storm.  Right now I feel as though I ought to go out on the roof and sit in the rain and be very morbid indeed, or laugh and run in a field and think of absolutely nothing at all.  You know how in a cheesy part of a movie sometimes there will be a time when the main character walks into a public place full of people, and all of a sudden, there is no sound.  It's like they are there, but they don't see or hear anything.  Well that's sort of how I feel.  Rather distant from everything, lost and obsessed in the realm of my own thought.  I think everybody has a time when they feel a little lonely... and I'm feeling a little of that right now.  Perhaps because I yearn for the company of somebody to talk to.  Or somebody who wouldn't talk, but who would just sit and enjoy the abstract-ness of it all.  Somehow I feel like there would be a conversation in our heads - one we wouldn't need to voice. Haha. This sounds so strange!

For tonight, my companions have been G.K. Chesterton (of course), and C.S. Lewis and Arthur Pink.  Don't get me wrong, I love them all very much, but there's something so cheerless about the fact that they're all dead. I can't read the wonderful things they've written, and then ask them: "Why did you say this?  What do you mean by this?  Can we talk about this because I absolutely love the way you've worded that?!"

Sometimes I think that I shut myself in my own little thoughtful world way too much.  I think that talking to people about my thoughts, or even about the passions that sometimes I want to voice about the green mist that hangs on the trees, or the spring rain, or Chopin won't interest people the same way like it interests me.  I could go on and on, but I don't want to go on to someone who doesn't feel as deeply about it as I do, and because of that, I'm afraid to tell anybody.

People are interesting, aren't they?

I bottle things up way too much.  This blog is such a help with that, but there's always things that you shouldn't post on blogs.  It causes too much trouble.

I love people.  I love talking to people, but when people say: "Enough about me! What about you?" I'll immediately want to talk about the red stripes in the curtain.  Or I'll say something like: "Oh, I've been well. I did such and such a thing and will do such and such a thing and I've been reading and writing etc."  But that's all I'll say, and they seem satisfied which makes me very dissatisfied because I want to say so much more.  I think: "When I look around at the life I live, I wouldn't notice much change, even if there has been significant change.  I live so much in my thought, that there is where I find every change and every progression.  Everything I see, hear, smell, feel... it is turned over in this world of thought.  It is analyzed, torn apart and applied to various things, and fed by perhaps a saying of some great thinker or writer.  And yet, when I talk to people, I am suddenly jerked out of that world into another reality, and I hardly know what to do with myself."  So I say stupid stuff like: "Yeah, life is good...." when I would rather say:

"I absolutely love the stars.  Can you imagine a sky without stars?  A sky without stars would be like a song that lacks melody.  Stars add so much to the world, and yet we take them for granted every day.  Each of them is a burning globe in space, and to us they seem like harmless little butterflies.  I want to look at the stars all the time.  And the moon! Look, there he sits like an emperor on his silver throne! His light may be pale, but his milky white face with what looks like shadows makes up for it.  The moon is like a king, and the stars are his subjects.  The sky is his land.  He does not concern himself with the earth.  He and the stars spin a beautiful melody, one that is too beautiful for the human ear to hear.  It's intangible, it's unheard but they don't make it for us. Perhaps that's why they don't care whether or not we hear it.  I really am for a life where one sleeps during the day, and stays awake at night.  Night is the time to be awake.  And yet... it is the time to be asleep.  Must we sleep when so much beauty lies awake?"

I would much rather say something like that.  Because that is what I'm thinking.  Sometimes I really do think silly stuff, like who invented the name of a cleaning product, and what gave them the inspiration for that name. Who were they, and where were they. I do wonder things like that, and it's extremely odd.

But I don't say things like what I said up there.  I never do that.  Why? I'm not sure.  I can never bring myself to do it when I most want to. I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or not? Ah well.

Anyways, that's my ramble for the evening.  If you got to the end, I'm impressed. I imagine it was somewhat boring, and I'm sorry.  I'm also sorry that it was long.  I didn't mean to write such a long thing, but it felt good to get something out for once. :-)

Quote of the Day

"Ruby... Do you know why you can't get to heaven in a rocking chair? Because if you tried, you would just keep going and going and going... You would only be in Space.  You wouldn't get to Heaven.  You can only get to heaven by Death... Dying is the only way, because it's like Heaven is a whole different world, and death is just the only way.  And sometimes I'm scared of dying, because what if I had a heart-attack... it might hurt.  I know it wouldn't hurt for long, because after I died then I'd go to Heaven."

- Luther, 7 years old.  It's amazing to me to hear him ramble on about what he thinks.  He's got potential to be a great thinker, and I am so excited to see his character and his mind develop!

Speaking of Death (it's so morbid, isn't it?) here's a quote by a Presbyterian minister who lived during the Great Awakening (he was preceded by Jonathan Edwards as president of Princeton University.

Samuel Davies -

 "The greatest number of mankind beyond comparison are sleeping under ground.  There lies beauty mouldering into dust, rotting into stench & loathsomeness, and feeding the vilest worms.  There lies the head that once wore a crown… There lie mighty giants, the heroes and conquerors… the Caesars of the world…  There lie the wise and learned, as rotten, as helpless as the fool."

It is amazing to me to think about this... Everything in this world passes away.  Everything dies.  Everything decays and disintegrates. It's depressing and almost sad to think upon.  The greatest of men die, and then... they're dead.  Dynasties fade.... well, the quote says it all.

Ever since sin entered into the world, and death by sin, this earth has been a vast grave-yard…  for her children.  In every age, and in every country, that sentence has been executing, Dust thou art, and unto dust thou shalt return (1.493).

No matter what we do, or how great we are, we return to dust.  We rot in our graves.  It sounds gross, but hey, it's what happens.  We're only humans, that's what we are, and we decay just like everything else.

But Christ... We have a beautiful mental image here.  Christ died the most humiliating death of his time.  He was buried.  He continued in the state of Death for three days... But did his earthly body decay and rot and return to dust? No! He was resurrected! And it's in this way that he defeated death!  There's a chapter in Isaiah about God "swallowing up Death forever."  It's a glorious thought! If Christ had not been resurrected, then death would still have dominion.  (Not like there was ever a time when Christ DIDN'T have dominion, but by his blood we are redeemed, and yet what good would it be if he remained dead?) Man, I'm not sure how much sense that makes... I'm getting all confuzzled, so I'll stop now before I confuse you any further!! Would anybody care to share their thoughts?? I love to hear other thoughts/ideas, so PLEASE respond because quite frankly you people who read this blog are bad at replying with comments or anything! :)

Everything is So Much Nicer....

When you trust in God. :) And I know you've heard me say that a million times, but I'm telling myself constantly. Constantly. Over... and over... and over... again... because it's something I do so horribly, and forget to do, and don't want to do. And then there comes the battle of the wills... which Paul describes so well in Romans 7.  What I know I should do and don't, and what I know I shouldn't do and do. Something like that... And when I don't trust him, then I end up getting all bitter, and I snap at my siblings, and I go around the house all melancholy and when mommy asks me what I've accomplished that day, I stare blankly because quite frankly I did nothing at all.

Well I do procrastinate a lot but I think that's off the point...

But when I DO trust him, I experience a very hard crisis, and then I can close my eyes and I think "Be still, and know that I am God..." and my soul calms, and I forget everything, and I think: "He knows it all... He sees it all... He knows exactly what he's doing. He's not working for my destruction.  It's all for my good. He is God and who am I?"  And I experience the sweetest bliss because I am put back into my place of the Human, and my knees are bent to the Lord of Heaven and Earth.

Anyways... That was just a thought I had.  As the hymn says... "'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, just to take him at his word..."

He'll take care of us.  He has it all under control.  In fact, nothing is OUT of his control - and how comforting is that?!

I also have a story.

When I was a little girl... (was? what am I saying?!)

When I was oh... six or seven years old, I remember sitting around the table with my family on Resurrection Day.  We were having a Seder.  My father was, of course, explaining to us how this lamb that was roasting in our oven used to be a bleating white fluffy thing prancing around, without a care in the world.  And then somebody butchered it, and we bought it.  "Just think," he said, "this used to be living!"  My eyes opened wide, and I thought how cruel we must be to eat the poor thing.

A dead silence ensued around the table as daddy cut into the delicious smelling lamb.

And then...

I heard something between a moan and a "ba-a-aahhh."  I looked up with wider eyes still, and my father had a look of horror on his face, as if to say: "O goodness, what are we doing?"

But we ate the lamb, which was very good.

As I went to bed that night, I puzzled over this question.

"How did the dead lamb make the noise?"

Can anybody guess how many years it took me to figure out where the noise came from?

Striving After... What?

Hello.

I has been thinking. And yes, I know that is bad grammar.  I am in a sensational mood.  I do really love tea, and my lovely brother just made me some.  That, combined with a sort of somnolence that seems to hang over me like a shroud puts me in a rather odd mood.  And I start asking questions.  Questions that I know the answer to, but that I like to ask anyways... Because, in a rather odd way, it makes me rethink the whole philosophy, and then that makes me ask more questions.  It's rather bothersome, sometimes, but that's alright.  I don't mind today.

Today, I think the weather is affecting me.  It's so cold, it's so grey, it's so bleak, it's so hard... and so white.  It makes me passive, like it doesn't matter what happens.  I have the mindset: "Who cares? It's cold anyways." As if that will answer every question.  But it won't.  And I found myself asking...

How much is too much?

Where is the correct balance?  How do you know where to find it?

How little is not enough?

How do we find out our "brain" capacity before it's too late? This is a very me question.  In other words, I want to know how much my brain can tolerate before it explodes.

How do we find the courage to face a fear that can hardly be described as a fear?

How do we find the difference between sloth and really not being able to handle something?

I really don't know.  The only thing I know how to do is to trust God.  I know that courage comes from God, not man.  I know that wisdom from my own heart is bound to be deceitful, but I know that God will guide me to make the right decisions, and that the wisdom comes from him.

In fact, I know that nothing comes from myself, but everything comes from him.  He satisfies every need, he fills every gap, every chasm in our soul.   He binds up our brokenness.  Think about that.  We don't need anything, but Him.  He satisfies our every need... He fulfills our every desire... And it's not by giving us what we want, it's by showing us what we need, and that is himself.


That doesn't mean our life is struggle-free, though.  There are still these questions.  For me, it's this.

With regards to school, this constant studying that I must do in order to graduate absolutely horrifies me. Not that I hate it, but it makes me ever so tired to think about.  I wish that there weren't any set time for graduation, but that I could always be learning at a leisurely level, through all the years.... but that's the catch.  If it pleases God for me to get married, and have a family, I probably won't have time to study like that.  That's why I have only 2.5 years to finish all this school.  I know I have to finished it because, even though I don't know if I'm going to get married or not, I have no idea what my life holds, and I need to try and be prepared for whatever it is.  So that's how I know to persevere with my studies.  But how high of a level should I try and reach for?

So, for now, even though I have fallen behind due to health issues (grin), I have set in my mind to not try and catch up, as that might make everything worse and unbearable, but to continue at a slow, yet steady pace.  Fast enough to get done what needs to be done, and slow enough to let it sink in, and so that school won't be the only thing my life is centered around. :P

And I know that the title of this post has next to nothing to do with the actual post, but it was random, like my mood.

Thanks for reading. :D Leave your comments, please. :)

I'm From the Department of Redundancy Department

So, I know that I've posted this before... I know I've posted a lot of things before that I post again, but I can't help it!  When I feel like it applies so well, I just have to use it again.  So, without further ado... Eagerly anticipating my favorite season, Spring, being so near at hand... and yet with everything still bare and dreary, here is a passage from Robinson Crusoe which fairly describes my attitude towards the weather. :)

"There are some secret moving Springs in the Affections, which when they are set a going by some Object in view, or be it some Object, though not in view, yet rendered present to the Mind by the Power of Imagination, that Motion carries out the Soul by its Impetuosity to such violent eager embracings of the Object, that the Absence of it is insupportable." (Robinson Crusoe)


I really want Spring. Really really bad. The snow is pretty and everything, but I love hearing the rain on my roof, and think of it cleansing the earth... and I love to think of the earth coming alive... and I love to watch the green tint on the trees when the buds are finally on the trees, but haven't fully developed into... uh... leaves.  And I love to feel the warm breeze on my face, and I love to wake up to the birds singing, and I love to hear the thunder, and... I just love everything about Spring.  It's the season of new birth... if you think about it.  Everything is cold, and dead, and hard.  And then in Spring, everything turns warm... everything is alive... everything is warm. :) 


Spring will come... I'm trying to wait patiently... but the "absence of it is insupportable."

Burford

Dear Everybody...

I just got thinking about this little town in England called Burford, and wanted to post some pictures.  It's the quaintest little town you ever saw, and at the bottom of the hill a stream runs under a bridge, and past the bridge, you are suddenly on the green countryside.

Burford... Isn't it a lovely name for a town?

The little round thing on that building is a clock... Unfortunately the lighting was right for a silhouette, so you cant see the really cool face and hands of it.

Okay, this picture made me think about crossroads, and all the different signs pointing in different directions.  A few stories come to mind.  The first one is in a Beatrix Potter movie I used to watch when I was younger, and it was about the two pigs who wanted to go to the market.  When the one little pig loses his brother to a policeman because he didn't have papers, he comes to a crossroad with signs much like this one, and tries to find the one that leads to the market.  I THINK, but I can't remember for sure, but I think he ends up getting lost, because he took the wrong road.  (But I am probably wrong.)

The second one is this... In a book we have called The Squire and the Scroll, the young squire comes to a fork in the road.  Beside the fork are a pair of huge thigh-high boots.  He looked at the roads, and perceived that one road seemed like a slough, and that one would sink as soon as he stepped foot on it.  The other appeared dry and firm.  He consulted his scroll, and then asked himself why the boots would be there if the one road was dry... So he determined to take the slough type road wearing the boots.  Immediately as he made this decision, a rabbit hopped on to the dry road, and sunk beneath its deceiving surface.  The boy stepped onto the miry road and found it firm beneath his feet.

The third (and last one) is this.  In Pilgrim's Progress, Christian arrives at the foot of a mountain.  The road going straight also leads straight up the mountain, and looks treacherous and tedious.  There are two other roads branching off from the first, looking very easy and good to travel by.  Christian knew that the right way was straight, and as he was about to continue, two men come up and are discussing which way to take.  Christian attempts to dissuade them from taking the paths... I they were named treacherous names, but I cannot remember them.  The two men only said that they were named such to try and deceive the person.  So, one took the right, the other the left, and Christian went straight up the mountain.  The man who took the right hand way became lost in a forest, and fell into a pit.  The man who took the left path had a similar fate, and neither were ever heard of again. 

The road to righteousness is not wide, and it's not easy... it's filled with toil, and tribulation, and temptations... thousands of stumbling blocks.  It's an uphill climb, not a downhill run.  "There is a way that seems right to the end, but in the end it will only lead to death." Proverbs 14:12.  The counsel of God is the only one that we should abide by, and yet, so frequently, we turn and "go our own way" so to speak, and end up getting into tons of trouble.  So, though man may point to many ways that we should go, we should not follow any path unless it abides by God's word.  Christian knew that the right way was up the mountain, because he had been given directions.  The other men also knew, but they loved luxury more than toil for Christ, and it ended in their death.  Anyways, just some thoughts. :)

What the countryside looks like....

And more countryside.  I loved the image portrayed here... The wide open space, the golden against the green, and the cloudy sky... and the field dotted with orange lights with smoke streaming from them. I just hope that the fire wasn't accidental. ;)

 

Of All The Extraordinary Places....

Home is the best.  I've realized that home isn't where your house is built, but where your family and loved ones are.  The great traveler Richard Halliburton loved to go to countries, and experience everything there is to experience... like sleeping on top of the Kheops, or sneaking into the gardens at the Taj Mahal for the night, or climbing the Matterhorn in the dead of winter... and he almost always rode first class on the train with a third class ticket.  But even he said that traveling only makes one appreciate one's home all the more - it makes him eager to be back home.  As astounding as foreign places are, as wonderful as they seem, everything is nothing compared to the warmth that exists within the family.  I suppose I am talking from personal experience, so please keep that in mind as I continue.

Dorothy, in all her adventures in Oz, though it was all exciting and wonderful, yet said in the end: "There's no place like home."  As awful as "the witch" (I forget her name before the dream) seemed, Dorothy was more than happy to go home, and find everything the same.

"Home is where the heart is."  It's true that the people we've grown up with, the people who have seen us through everything and have been there through all our failures and mistakes... not just the bad times but also the best times we have.  These are the people we know the best, and love the best, and where they are is where we long to be.  When my older brother left home to go work down in TX, and later in FL, I felt like one of my limbs had been torn out.  And how happy we were when he came home! What joyous, happy times! I wish they would always come back, but the fact that they won't makes the memories all the sweeter.

We went to London in September, as all of you saw by the posts I did while there.  And we missed home very much.  It was exciting and adventurous being in a different place... a country with history hundreds of years older than ours.  (Meaning that Jamestown was founded in 1607 and everything... though Columbus visited there in 1400's, and Vikings before that... there was hardly anything going on before the English came.) It was thrilling.  And today, I found myself wanting to go back.  There was so much we hadn't seen... but then I thought, there is so much we saw for real that a lot of people haven't seen.  We were blessed by that trip.  When we saw the moist atmosphere above North Carolina on our way home, I thought: "Ah, America.  How lovely to be home!"  And then Philadelphia... And all the security people smiled and said: "Welcome home."  And I thought... No matter where I go, nobody from that country will say "Welcome home" to me... Nobody who works in the airport and is a complete stranger.  Because that's not where I belong.  It's here, in my country, with my family, and as long as my family is together, as sappy as it sounds, there will always be joy.  And being together will help us all to get through anything.   If we ever moved, we would still all be together, so who cares where we are?  This is a huge conviction for me, especially since I don't like Cleveland all that much.  But in spite of it all, I am happy, and I do have my siblings, and both my parents... what cause have I to complain?

I love being home.  I love visiting places, and I love coming home and sleeping in my own bed.  It's one of the most wonderful things in the world.  I love coming home and talking with my dear family for long, long hours. (Well, I love doing that anyways, but there's something especially special about it when you come home.)  I just absolutely love it....

Oh, do you know that the BEST is??!!

FAMILY VACATION! :D

Ramblings Of A Tired Girl

I'm sitting here trying to think of something to post about, and realizing that that's a rather pointless thing to do. However, I've decided I want to write something right now because the idea of going upstairs to read Great Expectations isn't very thrilling right now... and I would like to do something thrilling. Writing is thrilling, you know, at least for me. :D The reason Great Expectations can't be described as thrilling is because Chloe told me how it ends, and it renders me extremely sad, you know, because I don't like it when people can't marry the person they love.

I was reading the Bible yesterday, and I saw in 1 Corinthians (I think it's 1 Corinthians?) the passage that says: "Do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature." I think that's what it says. Anyhow, I was really convicted, because for an extremely long time I did not like the idea of growing up. Can't say that right now it's too appealing, but honestly I was convicted. I want to be a child. I delight in those little childish things. I really love being a girl, and I'm filled with a kind of bliss (ya know... bittersweet...) when I look on all those memories I had from my really early days. I'm still young, but I'm furiously enjoying my youth as passionately as possible, because these days will never come again, and I know that I'll miss them. But that verse convicted me. I do need to be mature in my thinking. I was a child, but I'm growing up, and my thinking needs to grow up with me. I'm not exactly sure how to be mature in one's thinking, but I do think that it can start with studying the Scriptures, and one thing I dearly want to learn is wisdom, which will help me be mature in my thinking.

Do you know, I'm rather sorry that I can't write anything better than that tonight. It's almost impossible you know, for me to do better tonight. I'm in a strange state of mind, and that state of mind is telling me (I don't know which part of me) that I need to go to sleep. And as an end note, I don't like it when my foot goes to sleep, because it means that it's going somewhere that I want to go without me.

Spring

When you have been made to suffer being apart from something that you love for a long period of time, do you feel a sudden great joy when that thing is given back to you? That is how I feel after the long dreary winter has passed. Everything, during this time, is bleak, cold, and austere. Sometimes a thick blanket of snow will attempt to cover the barrenness of the landscape, and yet, more often than not we look out on a gray, cheerless world. Come March and April, however, there is a change in the air. We do not merely see naked branches, but little tiny buds all over the place, giving a reddish tint to the trees. Snowdrops appear, and are succeeded by the crocus. Then the hyacinth, daffodils, and tulips; or at least, that is how it goes in our gardens. Suddenly the earth is renewed. It is cleansed by Spring rains. The bleak atmosphere is washed away and replaced by warmth and cheer. Birds' songs echo through the trees, and they sing so sweetly, and so cheerfully, that it cannot help but banish melancholy and gloomy thoughts from the mind.

"There are some secret moving Springs in the Affections, which when they are set a going by some Object in view, or be it some Object, though not in view, yet rendered present to the Mind by the Power of Imagination, that Motion carries out the Soul by its Impetuosity to such violent eager embracings of the Object, that the Absence of it is insupportable." (Robinson Crusoe)

During this time of year I am apt to get intoxicated by the beauty of God's creation. I am not apt to worship the creation - nay, rather, it makes me bow in wonder of the God who made it! For if nature really is this beautiful - this sublime, then how much more powerful is the Hand that made it all, and how much more beautiful the Person who thought to make it.

These days make me burst with joy... after everything being dead for so long, it is finally become alive. I have drawn a line between Spring, and new birth in Christ. ..."And we were dead in the trespasses of our sins..." that is like winter. But when we are saved, and when we know Christ, everything blooms, and becomes alive.

This season should fill every mind with beautiful thoughts. How is it that buds on a tree can unfurl the splendor of a million leaves? Truly, this thought alone is amazing. Much less how a flower, so delicate, can push its way up through the soil, and nurtured by the sun, bloom and add so much color and loveliness to the world.

Let us not forget our blessings, and let us not forget to be grateful to Him who makes winter end, and gives us this gift of Spring.

(By the way, I've purposely abstained from using too much - or even not at all- words such as sublime, ecstasy, glorious etc, so as not to overwhelm my readers by my enthusiasm on this subject. :P)

Where Lies The Difference? Is There One?

What is one of the ancient practices of the world that makes us cringe and fall back in horror? Child-sacrifice: that ancient tradition that many countries in B.C. as well as A.D. practiced. Why is it so horrific? Perhaps it’s the idea of an innocent child, who has no say in whether he/she can live or die, who cannot even fight for his/her life. They are cruelly killed – sacrificed to heathen gods; they go through innumerable pains and sufferings – things that we cannot even imagine. These children, ranging from the ages of new-born to – well, even to adult age were sacrificed to “please the gods.” The horrific ways in which these new-born children were killed is too gruesome for me to describe, but it was bloody and morbid. I cannot even imagine how they went through it. But this is my point:

Many sacrificed infants and babies to the gods…. We think that is horrific. Really, who would want to kill a baby? But it is happening everywhere all the time – all the time! This dreadful thing is, yes, abortion. Many babies are aborted because the mothers “do not want them” or because they “can’t afford them” or because it is a humiliation – a result of a circumstance they shouldn’t have gotten into anyways. But what is the ultimate point of why babies are aborted? To satisfy and please the agenda of the mother. This is no different, if you really think about it, than those people way back then sacrificing babies to please the gods. In a way, the mother is pleasing a god – Self. Martin Luther once said, “I have a great pope within me: Self.” When we do things to please ourselves, even when it is wrong, we are satisfying and pleasing our own selfish desires. This is wrong – really, truly wrong.

Abortion is no different than child-sacrifice. Why would it be? Because life does not begin until the baby leaves the womb? What grows that is not alive? How can a baby grow for nine months and not be alive? A brick, which is not alive, does not grow, but if you leave out in the wind and rain, it will become beaten down – this is a result of the weather – the brick itself does not grow or shrink by itself. If life begins at conception, then abortion is murder. If abortion is murder, then why does our country allow it to go on? Why does not the government do something to stop this wicked crime? These little infants, just like the ones sacrificed, do not have the strength, or even the sense to fight for their life. They have no say in the matter. The matter of life or death is decided for them by other human beings. This is injustice, this is cruelty and murder! If life does not begin at conception, then what about those little ones who sometimes survive abortion, and are left to die on the hospital floor? When the baby screams and cries, kicks its legs and arms, then they ought to know that it is alive. They cannot kill it – they have no right. But since we do know that life begins at conception, then they have absolutely no right to interfere with that baby’s life – unless it is to save it. (Note: I am not saying that all babies that survive abortion are left to die, but I am referring to the ones that do.)

I wonder, what are the doctors consciences like? Do they even have one? Does the sound of little children’s feet haunt them – and the mother alike? Whenever they hear a baby’s cry, are they filled with regret, with remorse? Or not? Do they just go on as if nothing happened? I wonder…

How wrong, how utterly wrong it all is! Is there a worse evil than this? O! the cries of the innocent must ring and shake the earth! What a sordid, filthy, and twisted culture we have! How can we mend this great evil? Or have we gone so far that it cannot be mended?

Who will speak up for the little ones?
Helpless and half-abandoned.
They've got the right to choose life
They don't want to lose,
I've got to speak up, won't you?

Equal rights, equal time, for the unborn children.
Their precious lives are on the line,
How can we be rid of them?
Passing laws, passing out
Bills and new amendments.
Pay the cost and turn about,
And face the young defendants.

Many come and many go,
Conceived but not delivered.
The toll is astronomical,
How can we be indifferent.

Little hands, little feet,
Tears for Him who made you.
Should all on earth forsake you now,
But He'll never forsake you.

Forming hearts, forming minds,
Quenched before awakened,
For so many deliberate crimes
The earth will soon be shaken.

[Lyrics to a song, “Little Ones By Phil Keaggy.] I’ve never heard this song, but the lyrics are wonderful.

O, please pray!

Today :)

Enough things happened today to make it an interesting thing to record.... And that's precisely what I'm going to do (much to your chagrin, I'm sure).

This morning I woke up at 7:00 exactly. The alarm clock is set so that the sound track to Gods and Generals goes off. After the first two songs, I decided I needed to get out of bed, despite the fact that my body was telling me I really needed five more hours of sleep. I stumbled downstairs and did my normal routine. After this I felt a little more alive. Breakfast was nearly ready when I got downstairs at 8:00. Mommy had baked pancake puff, a favorite with the Hopkins family. :) Since it was not quite done, Mommy said we had time to have our individual devotions, which we accordingly did. Then we ate up most heartily, because the Hopkins children are ravenous eaters, and love a good breakfast.

After clearing our dishes, each child went about his/her studies. Daddy gave us the assignment of studying as much about Saint Patrick as possible. I proceeded upstairs. I finished the second to the last chapter of Robinson Crusoe, which me down to Olivia were reading with mommy. (I was behind.) I did this while Chloe was on Peter's laptop researching Saint Patrick. I attempted today to do as much as I possibly could. (I did fail, you know... but I did get SOME things done.)

After this, I read some out of my Paul Revere book because I really wanted to finish it today, until I was called downstairs to finish Robinson Crusoe. We all thoroughly enjoyed it. And then I was free to go upstairs, and finish Paul Revere. Then I did my research for Saint Patrick, and when I finished that, I remembered that I was supposed to write an article for Olivia Howard's magazine, and the deadline was today, and I had done nothing. So I wrote it, and sent it off. Chloe came up when I was just about done, declaring her out-of-character-determination to go running. Of course I went with her, but we ran into a dilemma. There are two pairs of sneakers that are wearable for Chloe and I in this house. One pair belongs to Gabriel, and they are very big on him, hence even bigger on Chloe. The other pair belongs to me, and are only slightly big on me. Well... Gabriel had worn his on an outdoor job, so we only had one pair. Perhaps you didn't need to know all this. But I'm telling it anyways. :) So, I went running first, came back, and then Chloe wore my sneakers (with more than one pair of socks) and she went. Meanwhile, I.... well... um.... Spent some time doing something, but I can't remember what. I just remember that when Chloe came back, I let her use the laptop, and went to take a nap. I don't think I actually slept, but at least I was rested. Then Chloe got ready to leave for a college hockey game, at which the boy choir, of whom daddy is the director and the accompanist, had to sing.

When they had gone (daddy, Peter, Chloe, Gabriel, Duncan, and Luther) I tried to console Tirzah and Olivia (because they couldn't go) by showing them the crocuses blooming in the garden. (I really love flowers—who doesn't?) I then realized that since we were going to have a nice dinner with corned beef and potatoes, the house had better be clean. Well, the four main rooms were rather messy. So, I cleaned them up, and talked to mommy while I was at it. During this time, Mother mended a ripped sheet, and Olivia took a nap, while Tirzah played outside. Finally, when all this was done, I worked on a dishcloth I was knitting, and when I had finished that, I edited the article I sent to Olivia Howard, and then resent it.

I read one chapter out of The Count of Monte Cristo, and was just about to help Tirzah with gingerbread when my grandmother called from New York asking for help with some directions.... and after that, I helped make the gingerbread... and dinner was ready... (at 8:30) and then we ate and it was all very good! Daddy said the concert went well, and Duncan won a T-shirt because he and another boy in the boychoir partook of a contest out on the ice...
Whoever could eat a six inch sub within the space of two minutes first, won. And Duncan won. He didn't have a great appetite, but still ate up just like he normally would.

And then I decided to write this rather pointless post, and if you even got to the point of where you're reading this, good job! You have a large amount of perseverence. :P



(this is a picture of our dinner... corned beef, potatoes, cabbage, carrots, and parsnips.)

I know it's kinda blurry... but oh well!

~Ruby

Saint Patrick's Day

Many of you know that Saint Patrick's Day is my favorite day of the year. It has been ever since I can remember. It's not because of the corned beef... it's not because I'm a "go green!" kind of person. (Except when it comes to Spring.) I love it because Spring is just around the corner, because it represent Truth and Light coming into the pagan Ireland. I'd love to write my own little summary of Patrick's life, but I don't think that I... can... write... a good thorough narrative... But I do know someone who has written a very good and (I am almost certain) reliable one, and that is Pastor Serven. The link to the article is here. I especially love the poem at the end. :)

Patriotic Sentiments

I was just "reminiscing" as some people call it, on a time a few months back, when I was in the most beloved and honoured (by me) town (or not so town-ish) Hickville. I remember that around sunset, Rachel and I "took a walk through the wilderness" as we call it. As we were coming back, we got a rather patriotic feeling within us, or at least I did, and we decided to belt out America's National Anthem. Alright.... Please don't think I'm strange when I say what I was feeling at the time, because I feel like I've gotta tell somebody, but I don't know which somebody to tell, (so why not tell everybody?) and besides, I wouldn't be able to put it in these exact words that describe the feeling as I am about to do now.... Wow, that was a really wordy sentence!!

So, we belted out the National Anthem. We really sang it out, as there was no one to listen but God and the birds around us. We looked across the vast land around us, so desolate, maybe, but so free, and so beautiful in the setting sun. What made the song more astounding, the view around us more spectacular, and being in the place itself more wonderful was the knowledge we had that we have a God, a heavenly Father in heaven, who is supreme over everything, who is all-powerful and in complete control of any little thing that happens. And if he cares for the life of a sparrow, how much moreso the life of his children! And also this thought.... the hymn O Worship The King says in the last verse, "Our Maker, Defender, Redeemer, and Friend!" If he is all those things, then he certainly will care for us in times of trouble or should disaster strike! Malachi 4:2 says, "But for those who fear my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings." I feel that "we the people" have been very blessed, and have felt God's grace and mercy in giving us, and allowing us to live and flourish, in this free country.

Some people say that we don't have a very free nation... A good friend went to England this past year. She said that a homeschooling mother there said to her, "The law of England states that a superviser must be within our home to watch how we treat and raise our children. They never warn us when they come. Don't let, like we have, the simple freedoms that you posess slip through your hands, because we look and depend on you." I don't know about you, but when I heard that my mind bounced... so to speak. I almost got up and slammed my hand on the table saying, "That's it! First I'm going to the American Government and then I'm going to Parliament to do something!" If only it were that simple! Many of you might have read a post I wrote a few months ago entitled "pray!" I was about to say that the only way we can help our country is by being some great person of state that has great influence on our government. However, I was promptly reminded that, again, we can, and we WILL pray. Prayer is the greatest thing that we can do for our country.

But may I be so bold (in a good way, of course) to urge my brothers and sisters in Christ to pray without ceasing, and to never, ever be complacent! I'm not saying you are, but remember how many thousands of people died for a freedom that they had not yet obtained in the late 1700's! Remember how many sacrifices they made, and how hard they worked, and how constantly the fought for a freedom and a liberty and a country that they could call their own! And just think, after all that they had suffered to make this, our nation America, and after the thousands upon thousands who had died (not even knowing the end result), just think how ungrateful it would be, how entirely careless and thoughtless and defiant it would be to take all those sacrifices for granted, and to stand complacently by while this our country, one Nation under God, reaches a crisis! How in the world can we do that? We must not, and we cannot, stand passively and complacently by and watch the show.

So pray! And watch! And never be passive! (I would greatly appreciate it if y'all would help sharpen me and remind me to do the same thing.)

I feel so much better after saying all this.... :D

Tagged!

Dearest Olivia from Eager Hands has tagged me with "Six Random Thing About Me. The Rules state that I have to state the rules, so here goes:

* Link to the person who tagged you

* State the rules

* Write six random things about yourself

* Tag (about) six people by leaving comments on their blogs

* And let the person who tagged you know when you have completed your mission.

Well, this thing might not be so easy, because for one, I don't know many people with blogs, and for two, I don't know many random things about me...

1. I have crazy dreams... And thank goodness, but they don't come true!
2. I read approximately 220 pages of history per week.
3. I look better in sporty clothes than in little black dresses with stockings and high heeled shoes.
4. I like the name Corliss, and everyone wonders why I do. Oh, I also like the name Spartius.
5. I got my ears pierced on Monday, December 13, 2004, when I was (but not exactly) 11 and 4 mos old.
6. I am listening to Your Guardian Angel right now and it's been played 196 times.

I am going to tag...
~ My darling older sister, Chloe, at Beautiful Fidelity...
~ My dear brother Gabriel at The Notes and Past Times of Gub-Gub
... That's all I know! (pitiful I know!)

L'auteur Malade Bientôt à être Bien!

Hullo my jolly good readers!

This post is written specifically to inform you (though I do doubt that some of you would hardly care) that I am on the mend, and expect to be completely recovered by Tuesday. As though I could name the day or hour of when my good health will return, but I am only saying that I expect it to return then... And I know I am sounding very confusing right now! As though you would even care whether I am well or ill... But I like to write, and since I can find nothing to write about except the state of my health, I am afraid my honest and highly esteemed readers, if they so choose to read my blog, must read what they find, which is an absolutely dull and droll account of no-one-in-particular's sickness. So, please bear with me.

I have a soar throat, a rather "congested" cough, a stuffy/runny nose, and fits of sneezing and wheezing which aren't that pleasant to those around me. Thankfully I won't die. And that is it. Was that so very bad, my dear patient and constant readers? (Well, for those of you who are constant.)

The only reason I have entitled the last two post names in French is because any other title in English would seem absolutely droll and utterly idiotic. These will be the first... (and perhaps last) of my posts entitled in foreign and unknown (to us that is) languages.

And now forgive the absurdity of this post, but because I am sick, I beg forgiveness of all my fair readers. :-)

I thank you profusely and prodigiously for getting through these unseemly and tedious post.

Goodnight, and farewell!

~Ruby

I Can't Think of A Title... How Droll

Okay.... So the past few days have been pretty hectic... Well, maybe the past week. On Saturday the Howard's had a huge yard sale, from eight AM to one PM. So Olivia (see here and here) and I got up at five thirty AM and made berry coffee cake for breakfast, then helped set up. Around eleven fifteen, I told Emma that I was going to go lie down for fifteen minutes. The next thing I know Olivia comes in the room and says, "Hey Ruby you might want to wake up... You've been asleep for four hours."

:P

Then on Sunday I took a two hour nap in the library... and on Monday I didn't have a nap because we went to Cabelas! Yay! :) That was so exciting. I'll have pictures up later, but I seriously was impressed, and their fudge is soooooooo wonderful!

That night we also went to Oglebay (I was corrected and told it is pronounced O-GAL-BEE ;) lol) Park. We got tons and tons of pictures by the pond, and Emma and I had loads and loads of fun rolling down this HUGE hill! I tell ya, if you haven't done that yet, do it, even though you might be 58 years old!!!!!! But the second time down, Emma got stung by a bee on her neck. Olivia got stung four or five times on her hip, and I rolled over a few roots of a tree on my way down the hill, which resulted in a huge black and blue and red bruise. Yuck.

Tuesday we went school supply shopping. I can't believe that season is almost here! You see, I stopped math this past Spring in the middle of a math problem and lesson. :P Bad me... But I am excited, because I want to go shop for binders and notebooks, etc., etc.. Yay! *excited*

Today was nothing eventful... We went on our daily walk (we've been walking 1-4 miles every day--no hyperboly) and took care of the kids and did the dishes, and made dishcloths, and then the Howard's dropped me off here! (At the Clarkes). Tomorrow morning I'll travel to Solon with Mr. Clarke, and my family will pick me up there at Mr. Clarke's office probably around lunchtime! I am so excited! But I thoroughly enjoyed my time here, and I think it was very good for me. :)

I will definitely be getting some pictures up for those of you who care... :P

~Ruby Jean

A Chocolate Facial

Okay... So last night Olivia and I were up late baking and cooking lots and lots of.... stuff... for Emma's late tea/birthday party. We made chocolate covered strawberries, and we had quite a bit of the milk chocolate left over. So, we decided that it really needed to go on my face. Hence, the pictures below. Then... I saw the bag of flour... :D























































My nose is NOT that huge!!!!

Out of Town!!!

I am in West Virginia!! On Friday night, Mr. Clarke drove me down to St. Clairsville. I talked about graveyards and dead people for most of the ride, until we got into a discussion about... theological issues. After that, there was an awkward silence for about five straight minutes. Then I started eating bagels to take my mind off the silence. I stayed with the Clarkes Friday night. Rachel and I slept in a twin bed on the top bunk with no rails, as is our custom, and talked until two in the morning.

On Saturday morning, Mr. Clarke drove Rachel and I to Wheeling WV, where he dropped us off at Jordan's house. It was quite humorous when lunch time came around, and there was no food. So, we got some chips and cheese dip, bean dip, and salsa, sprite, homemade cookies. Mrs. Connor wasn't home, so Mr. Connor dumped the entire bag of chips on the table, and people ate them off of that.

Saturday afternoon we went to Target and bought mascara (which I recommended to Jordan, and now she loves it) fake nails for fun, lip gloss, etc.. We topped off the trip with Strawberries 'n Cream frappicinos from Starbucks.

Jordan had a part in this play called I Remember Mama and she did well. The play was thoroughly enjoyable.

We came home at about eleven PM and talked a lot... or at least until three, by which time I said:

"You guys, do you mind if I go to sleep? Because I stayed up Thursday night until 1:30 or 2:00 with Chloe, 2:00 with Rachel on Friday night, 3:00 tonight, and Olivia's going to want me to stay up late tonight with her! So I really need to get some sort of sleep!"

Of course they were laughing at me, and they were so hyper, but I went to sleep anyways. So we got up this morning and went to church, and I was so happy that Titus (age 1) let me hold him all the way through all the singing, and actually wanted me to! :D I love babies. During the sermon, though, a lot of my nails came off, except for the thumb ones, my index finger on my right hand, and my middle finger on the left hand, and I cannot get them off at all! It looks awfully funny.

We came home and tried on all my dresses... Jordan was particularly crazy about this Retro dress that I made, and Rachel was too, so then they just decided to try on every single one I had. Jordan ended up borrowing my red and white flower dress, which she declares every five minutes she "loves to death."

Mrs. Clarke just came to pick up Rachel with Jack. Last night Mr. Clarke and he were playing catch, and somehow Jack got hit in the mouth with a baseball bat, and this morning Mrs. Clarke called the dentist at home to see if he could look at Jack's loose teeth, which are fine, except for a broken one.

And now the Howard's will be here in about forty five minutes to pick me up, and I'll be with them until August sixth, where I'll spend the night with Rachel, and then Mr. Clarke will take me back to Cleveland (because he works up there sometimes) early in the morning on August 7th.

Okay, I'll try to post more updates, and possibly some pictures. We'll see.

~Ruby Jean

Simply A Post

Sometimes the days go by and one simply cannot think of what to say on his or her blog. It can really be the most disappointing and frustrating thing at times, especially when certain parties are begging the person to post about something when quite often the person doesn't know of anything that would be amusing or of interest to his or her audience. And now I find myself in this same position. Well, well, well, I suppose that I must write something, and I hope that whatever it is, my readers will enjoy it. Frankly, I myself would ramble for forever and a day, if I could, about anything, but I must not. And I hope, and am quite sure, that this will be the first and last of this kind of posts, however much enjoyment my readers may find in it.

And now I must be sensible. Speaking of that word, I used to believe that "sensible" and "sensibility" meant the same thing, only, they were used differently, depending on how the sentence was built. But by way of a dictionary, I was proved quite wrong. Sensible means "aware of" or "informed" as in, 'I am sensible of the difficulties;' whereas "sensibility" means the ability to appreciate or respond to complex emotional or aesthetic influences. As in the beloved movie when Mrs. Dashwood remarks to Marianne, "I think that might be carrying your romantic sensibilities a little too far." And now I ask my reader... Do I have any idea of what I am speaking of? Because I am quite sure that I do not know. Just an interesting thought... Although I daresay that my reader may not have found it quite so interesting as I did, and they are most likely "bored to death" like Lady Dedlock, who, in the end, did die. (But most certainly not of boredom... Read the book. Bleak House, by Charles Dickens.) Goodnight and God Bless!